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Things
Only Dogs Know
The
reason we have a cat is so I can eat it's food and also eat the nice
warm cookies it leaves behind in the litter box.
When
my human leaves the room they are probably going to disappear so I
had better follow closely behind at all times.
When
you have to throw up it will make you feel better if you throw up on
the clean carpet.
Don't
ever turn your back on the vacuum, it is out to kill you.
When
food is left on the table or counter it is really meant for you, if
it wasn't they would have buried it in the backyard.
The
mailman and garbage man are really out to kill you.
Squirrels
are little monsters that must be destroyed at all cost..., if you
can catch them.
Our
human's like it when we roll in dead things, I mean who wouldn't.
Don't
let a fly's size fool you, they are out to kill you, but do make a
tasty snack.
Why
do you need to drink water out of a bowl when you have fresh cold
water in the toilet.
Always
greet humans by putting your nose up their rear-end, that way you
know if they are friendly or out to kill you. This friendly greeting
will usually bring it out in them.
When
getting ready to go for a ride and your human forgets something back
in the house, when they get out jump on the door handle and lock the
doors. When they come back wag your tail and jump up and down and act
like you don't know why they are so upset.
Don't
you wish you could read human's minds, poor pitiful things.
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