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Some may
not have made the connection, but there are many similarities between
teenagers and cats. Who knows? Maybe those finicky felines can
help you understand the teen in your life.
Read
on. . .
1. Neither
teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
2. No matter
what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane
efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of
waiting on them hand and foot.
3. You
rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human
being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right
mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
4. Even if
you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teen
will ever crack a smile.
5. No cat
nor teenager shares your taste in music.
6. Cats and
teenagers can lie on the living room sofa for hours on end without
moving, barely breathing.
7. Cats have
nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
8. Cats and
teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that
ultimate human ecstasy--a sense of complete and utter boredom.
9. Cats and
teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
10. Cats
that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in
the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your
bedroom. Teenagers are not necessarily above that sort of behavior.
Thus, if
you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other
parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a
guidebook on cats on hand at all times.
And
remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any
sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds,
they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort and it
will be a triumphant moment for all concerned. |
