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What NOT
To Get Your Dog For Christmas
A CD of
cats meowing popular Christmas songs.
A chew toy
with the head already gnawed off by his canine brother who chewed his
way into the gift box around the 15th of the month.
A chew toy
shaped like a shoe which he is immediately going to confuse with the
right sneaker of your favorite pair.
Central A/C
for his Dogloo when you're still using individual wall units that are
barely up to cooling a small closet-size area in your house.
Anything Garfield.
A remote
control for the refrigerator door.
A knitted
pink sweater that makes your macho Doberman look like a poodle.
A deluxe
prepackaged treat-filled Christmas stocking that's large enough for
you to use as a sleeping bag.
Doggie
antlers when your nearsighted hunting relatives will be spending the
holidays with you.
A stuffed
toy dog with an angel's halo as a hint as to what he has to do to get
more presents next year.
A doggie
door between you and the suspicious butcher next door.
An audition
for a diet dog food commercial where they feed him so much during
retakes that he actually gains weight.
A piece of
jewelry featuring a ceramic dog of his breed for you to wear.
His own
Petsmart credit card.
A cat.
~Author unknown~
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