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Things
Cats Must Try To Remember
Screaming at
the can of food will not make it open itself.
I should not
assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
If I put a
live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there
until I get hungry.
The guinea
pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.
If I bite
the cactus, it will bite back.
I will not
stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at
nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".
Television
and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
No matter
how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.
If I play
'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in
groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
My human is
capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.
The canned
cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits
of it all over the floor.
I am a
carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.
I will never
be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming
at it will not bring it any closer.
It is not a
good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all
dissolves in the boiling coffee.
The goldfish
likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.
If my human
wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She
will notice if I start eating it from the other end.
I cannot
leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.
The large
dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak
out every time I see it.
I am a
neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed
up will not make my parts grow back.
~Author Unknown~
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